Hi, I'm Chelsea Leigh Trescott
Advice Columnist and Breakup Coach
Trained and certified in Solution-Focused Life Coaching, I help my clients turn their sob stories into silver lining breakups.
My writing has been featured on The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Mogul, Elite Daily, elephant journal, Mend, TheTalko, amongst others and has been published in three books (yes, paperback!).
I live in New York City, my happy place, love with ease, feel most alive when in conversation, and will always hold a spotlight to the most compelling features of anyone who graces my life. If you’ve dated me, I’ve probably written about you. I can’t help myself! Men inspire so much in me and I’m a confessionalist through and through.
Can we start off with a quiet little applause for you. It doesn’t have to be over the top but, really, I want to admire you for a second.
You see, before I took the steps to turn my life around–out of sheer desperation, mind you–I had never reached out for support. Part of it was, I didn’t know where to look for it. Part of it was, I didn’t want to look for it.
Back then I expected myself to solve everything on my own. I expected that time was all I needed to improve myself and transform my life. But without any effort on my part to engage in change, time offered me nothing but lost opportunities. In other words, by holding myself back, I held myself hostage to my own pain and wasted many precious years stuck when I could have been closer and closer to free.
What I admire about you is your ability to take a chance on something (this!) and someone (me!). I never did that, not until I was forced to, and what I’ve discovered since then is, what looks like a small move often is enough to save your spirit. Because small moves encourage us into the next day, and soon enough that turns into weeks and months and a whole new way of being. I mean it, taking a chance on a different direction can turn your life around.
Because I know how impossible it can feel to make a single small move, I don’t take it lightly or for granted that you have come to me with the wonder of whether I couldn’t help you open up and move yourself in a greater, more honest direction.
This is why I want to be your breakup coach. So, you don’t have to make any moves all on your own. I can be with you for a day, a week, an entire month, or however long it takes till we get you strong again—in perspective, in spirit, and in love.
As your coach, we’ll have a conversation about who you are beyond heartbreak and who you want to be because of it.
We’ll talk about your fears and expectations, your anxieties and aspirations, surrounding love.
We’ll uncover all yours whys, like why this person came into your life, (what was the lesson?), and why this breakup is a miracle waiting to be realized.
We’ll talk about what happens in the wake of a breakup, such as the compulsion to start dating or even return to your ex. And we’ll talk about all of this without judgment. That’s the beauty of our relationship. I’m not here to judge you, I’m here to remind the two of us that there are so many ways to love, to let go, and to live.
All in all, I’m rooting for you. I want to see you fall in love with the right person and I also want to see you get damn good at loving who you are on your own.
Another reason I became a breakup coach was because there wasn’t one and that’s exactly who I needed when I was anticipating my inevitable fallout and had nothing and no one to turn to. I’m doing this because I want to be here for you in ways I never showed up for myself. Caring about you is what motivates me.
So just know, I admire you already. I admire you for your effort and I thank you for inviting me into your life to help you now that I am healed and now that I am better and now that I am free.
What I've Learned As An Advice Columnist
For The Huffington Post
Every story that is sent to me for my advice column is a different story. What’s so often the same though is the reason that person is writing in.
“I just need someone to understand what I’m going through.”
I read this line or a variation of it almost every time. Do you know what this means? It means people feel so alone with their feelings, so stranded by their friends in times of despondency and need.
This is actually why I wanted to become a Breakup Coach. Because I, too, felt deserted. Like, it was wrong that I wasn’t cut off from my feelings for a person yet, that I was sad more than I was even willing to be angry.
So often when we express ourselves to others, they think that we are intent on being right, and so that’s what they fight us on. That’s why they overpower us with their good sense and overwhelm us with our own wrongdoing.
But the people who write into me aren’t looking to be right. Not underneath the chaos of their stories, their secrets, their abandon and shame. They are really looking to be heard, acknowledged. They want someone to say it’s okay that they are where they are. They want someone to not rush them out of their own grieving, to not tell them they are wrong and shouldn’t be in this mess or feel a certain way.
When people write me, that’s what I hear in their words. Sure, they may be asking me what to do but more than anything they are asking whether it’s okay to be where they are emotionally.
They want to know that they are “normal.”
They aren’t asking me to tell them they are right and the person they are writing in about is wrong. No.
They are asking me whether I have ever been where they are. They want to know that they aren’t alone. That they aren’t an anomaly or a victim to something that’s never been done to anyone else before.
Basically, they want someone to look through their eyes and talk to them about being brave again.
What I’ve learned since being a coach and a columnist is, there’s no conversation I’d rather have.
So to those who have written in as well as my readers and clients, thank you for bringing the best in me to life.
I know for sure that I feel more alive today than I ever have because you show up for me and ask me to give to you. I’ll always thank you for that.